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Love or Understanding: Key of a Successful Marriage

During my initial days, when I tried to understand the key factors and parameters of a successful relationship, It was like a law, you need to have a love to build a relationship. So, first find the love and build a relationship with your love! 🙂

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Also in India, Love comes by luck, stays by luck and fortunately you can have so many feelings of love in your life, until you are grown enough and earn enough to marry someone! So, love is not something, you can trust you have when you are going to start a relationship. You cant force your heart and you cant control your mind! There is a second way, you can understand, you can share your views and impure a budding communication with truth and visibility. What more you can do, to build up a strong relationship with your partner, who has been arranged by someone in your life. You have few common and many different views, which looks even because of tendency of compromise or openness.

But! once you started thinking about commitment, I want to know from you people, how to develop a relationship so that it actually becomes perfect? Any thoughts!!

How Love Dies In A Relationship

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Love is a heavenly feeling that a human have no control over it and a relationship is just a practice of maintaining feelings like love, care etc with changing time and age. Love is something that comes from your heart and relationship is the ultimate outcome of feelings and commitment, which society measures between each other.

I have a friend who is recently married to his long time girlfriend, but before marriage he was really confused on whether he is doing it right or just taking another wrong decision in a faster way. Very confidently he took few points to put up on, why he is not ready for a marriage. He took few examples of our committed friends who have nothing left to even discuss with their partners as they have already did such enough time.

Simply he said a man should never marry his girlfriend of many years, as they normally started getting bored of each other. Here comes the very common factor of a long term relationship, ‘Boringness’. Rabindranth Tagore nicely said, we start anything with a huge interest and end it with reverse feelings. Especially it hurts, when we are a part of such relationship, getting distracted, creating a lot of mess and unwanted events in our life.

How the boringness enters?

1: DIFFERENT VIEWS AND EXPECTATION:

Love doesn’t guarantee that you and your partner are going to think in a same way. In-fact ‘Opposite attracts’ is a proved factor in a relationship. So difference is not the matter. Before starting a relationship; think once, how much compatible you are with your partner. People normally make a mistake, when they start to expect something measurable from a relationship and a lot from their partners.  May be this is a point of time, when love takes exit from a relationship.

2: LACK OF PERSONAL SPACE / TOO MUCH OF PERSONAL INTERFERENCE:

Personal space is a crucial factor. It’s like refreshment to your mentality, which allows you to bring more engagement. Personal space allows you to be yourself and a gives you enough time to think about your relationship.This space is important but do not make a football ground between each ohter.

3: LACK OF WOW FACTOR IN DAY TO DAY LIFE / ROUTINE LIFE:

We can’t lead our life with a same chicken roll for longer time period. We normally need changes and the wow factor in our daily life, so that your every morning starts with a surprise and the day ends with a smile.

4: PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE TO RELATIONSHIP: 

The background of building a character and human perceptions on life is different. A person always relates, compare things with his/her past experience. Know your partner’s soft corners, previous relations and attachments to detect the loopholes. Handle with care. I have a friend, who used to be very romantic in childhood, lost his faith on love and relationship, when one of his classmates dumped her for no reason. Sometimes I feel it will take a lot effort and time to make him believe in virtual love again.

5: MIS-COMMUNICATION/ TRANSPARENCY:

Sometimes you may think, ‘is this a matter to share with your partner??’ Don’t think and stop fooling yourself, because, if the information got forwarded from other sources, it will be dangerous for your relationship. Transparency at a certain level is required, until you feel your personal space is getting damaged.

6: LACK OF FAITH:

Faith, commitments are the few common words always come when you talk about any relationship. People forget to share. Stop hiding or lying, it damages the roots of every relationship. A proper communication is also required to build up a faithful commitment.

7: SHARING IN A CARING WAY:

Especially for those people who are living in. Only sharing will not work. You have to handle this sharing process in a sophisticated way. Otherwise sharing can taste bitter.

8: POSSESSIVENESS:

You know what it exactly means. If you are too much uncertain about something, you will definitely give it up someday.

9: AGE/ MATURITY:

The meaning of love and relationship changes with age and maturity in general life. For a school going couple it can be sharing lunch and a soft hug, for a college student it turns into some physical affection, few years later it turns into mental support and then comes marriage, family and many more things as per a very normal Indian life. Take care of your mental changes with age. So you can manage with the demands and duties of your life.

10: TAKEN FOR GRANTED ATTITUDE TO RELATIONSHIP:

Practice! Relationship is a practice. You can’t count someone outside in your life just like that. Your partner is actually an outsider in your life and that much feels comfortable exactly what you consider to give freedom. Value the presence of another one in your un-presentable moments. The moment you will take this as a daily routine, the day you will dump your relation.

11: TOPICS TO TALK SOME MORE:

People, who are in a relationship, spend a lot of time to find out topics to talk with. After some formal conversation, normally people get finished with expressions and start hiding behind mobiles, computer screens, Televisions or some any other business. Many a time, in any public places, you can find couples busy on mobile handsets. The tech dependency is also a reason, coz, people are trying to find out their solutions and happiness on easy and instant media.

Take care of these factors and think in a basic way because love is not a rocket science, you just need some more time.

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“Jab Tak Hai Jaan”….. A Late Review

It was so normal I don’t feel any more excitement about any movie release. Specially Bollywood Movie Industry has got such talents and obviously a base of mad-about-movie base of consumers or people think watching a movie is a best time-pass. No matter, Bollywood has that crowed. And you know the figures comes from music and TV premier shows. Later on you can add reality shows and anything you can create and present to the public. They buy everything you can offer. They have money. 

Specially If I say about a SRK movie…………….  Swades, Chak De India, My Name is Khan. Last three movies I liked. JTHJ, I wanted to watch because of the list of hi-profile artists. The money and time does not matter if you can see Anushka Sharma in such small outfits, Katrina, in a romantic role, SRK- always an achievement for any group, AR Rahaman- my best, Gulzar sahab with his mind-blowing poems and the Director. I can put my wallet, watch, glasses for each of them.

Movie started and no super hero entry or no more musical ambiances to welcome SRK on screen. Just a Bullet…Vot Vot Vot Vot! as simple as that. This is not at all a SRK movie. I can’t deny that he is everywhere in this movie but like Swades,, like Chak de… this is not..

I think everyone knows the story and had watched the movie. Someone is saying awesome and someone with a negative feedback. SRK Fans are tagging people with the most excitement of having SRK-Kat jodi.

No this Jodi can not be a successful jodi further. The second reason can be the age difference and the main reason, SRK needs sensitive eyes to be reflected on screen. not a face. Katrina has a face but not eyes, those can not put them together on screen.

It is a movie of Yash Chopra, AR Rahman and the team. SRK had kissed, bent on a bed to create some parts of this project. Old stories, Ultrabook on 2002, street singer to bomb defuser… and artist to a technical person! lots of stuffs!! may be a systematic presentation of successful love stories in Bollywood. Story has nothing special but fluent and conscious. Dialogues! no doubt, classic romantic dialogues those lines only can be modified but never changes. you have thousand lines to express the moonlight but only a hundred words to express the  moon.

“teri aankhon ki namkeen mastiyaan

teri hansi ki beparwaah gustakhiyaan

teri zulfon ki lehrati angdaiyaan

nahi bhoolunga main

jab tak hai jaan, jab tak hai jaan”

The same feelings, depth and devotional attitude to ‘LOVE’ like ninety’s. This movie again proves us the specialty of concept of love once again. Don’t forget Yesh Chopra is one of the person made the word ‘love’ social and acceptable. People like me still thank these directors because they think their life story was designed by these people.

baarishon mein bedhadak tere naachne se

baat baat pe bewajah tere roothne se,

chhoti chhoti teri bachkani badmashiyon se,

mohabbat karunga main

Jab tak hai jaan, jab tak hai jaan.

A R Rahman, no need to write more lines about him. I wish I can design my blog pages, I will definitely choose the ‘Heer’ song as my blog’s background music. He is the GOD. If you don’t want to open your stressed eyes sometimes, feel the music and you will feel relaxed with a heavy pain in your heart. The pain of remembering someone, you miss everyday, the  pain for fear of losing someone in near future.

‘Naal naal tur na te vith rakhna
Hadh rakh lena vich dil rakhna
Chhanve chhanve bhaave, assi teri parchhave, tur naa’

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